Them Weekly

BREAKING: Bird Shits on Bird’s Head by Marty
January 6, 2009, 2:00 pm
Filed under: The Blue Jay, The Hawk


Another troubling case of bird-on-bird violence broke out at the marsh this morning, when The Hawk brazenly shat on The Blue Jay’s head in broad daylight. Tensions in the bird community are high, with most local fowl afraid to venture out of their nests. This is the third such occurrence in these early days of 2009, putting us on pace to more than triple last year’s total of 52 shittings. Local authorities remain on high alert.